The end of pies

It is xmas eve so the time has come to finish off the job I started many weeks ago, and declare the overall winner of the great mince pie evaluation. Hopefully it is not too late for you all to rush out and purchase the champion, so as to have a stock in readiness for xmas tomorrow. But before I move on to the formalities, there is time for one last heat! Yes I have continued to eat and rate mince pies right up to today, giving more time for all contenders to get a fair chance at minced greatness.

There are three pies in this round: one from Borough market in London (the name of the stall escapes me I'm afraid), one from Reeve's the baker in Winchester, and a Waitrose mini star mince pie. All were enjoyed accompanied by a cup of tea.

I accidentally over cooked the Borough market pie, so it was slightly more than golden brown - burnt brown is a good description. Nevertheless I crunched my way through all of it, and crunchy it indeed was. There was a very high pastry to filling ratio, which some may like and others may not, whilst I sit on the fence. The filling had definite red tinge to it, cranberries I postulated. It was very sweet.

Slightly scorched

The other two pies went head to head in the traditional format of the evaluation. Mainly so that I could take this photo:

Reeve's and Waitrose. 

Big and small, satanist and Jewish (maybe I am reading too much into the number of points on the stars). Anyway I ate both of them, which was a challenge because the Reeve's pie was massive. Waitrose was diminutive in size and in taste - the pastry was bland, the filling sweet and nothing special, but it did have very large juicy sultanas in. Though it was better than the previous Waitrose pie I ate, because it wasn't seeped in booze and didn't contain cherries. The Reeve's pie was on the other hand delicious. Very short crunchy pastry, as to be expected from bakery produced as opposed to supermarket produced. Brown around the edges, but with a dusting of caster sugar on top giving a white tint too. The ratio of pastry to filling was spot on, the issue was that there was simply too much of both of them! There was a lovely citrus edge to the mincemeat, and it was not overpoweringly sweet.

So the winner of this final round is clear - Reeve's the baker. I believe that it is in cities/towns other than Winchester (possibly including Romsey), so it is not quite as hard to get as you may think at first.

On now to 'the end of pies' that the title of this post promises. I had hoped to have some kind of grand tasting finale, involving a selection of my favourites so far, and maybe even blindfolds to make it a more reliable study. This has unfortunately not come to pass, and given that there are precious few hours until xmas day, there is no chance of sorting this out in time. Therefore I am simply going to pick one and award it the honour of winner of the mince pie evaluation.

Lets start by considering the pies in two classes. First: those available from major supermarkets. I wasn't terribly impressed by many of these. Mr Kipling, Sainsbury's, Tesco's, Waitrose - major household names, but in out of their depth in the mince pie market. The only one that had the winning combination of good pastry and good filling (and lets face it, that is a pretty basic requirement for a nice mince pie) was M&S. Not the fancy luxury ones with oodles of booze, but the standard ones that come in a red box. Secondly I might group together those that came from the more esoteric outlets; that is smaller bakeries. These have the disadvantage that not many mince pie aficionados will be able to access them. But they do have the advantage that on the whole they were tastier. Of these I was most impressed by "Ye olde bakery" in Herne Hill.

Because we live in the real world, and not in some mumbo-jumbo communist claptrap universe where all pies are equal, there can be only one winner. One pie which has conquered all others on the twin fronts of pastry and mincemeat. A pie that can hold its own, whether eaten hot or cold, with tea or wine, as a snack or for breakfast - whatever the setting or occasion, a pie that satisfies deeply. This pie is from "Ye olde bakery". I hope that more people can swing by and sample it.

Merry xmas!

The good, the bad, the ugly, and the downright inedible

I have given up on themed rounds because it was too hard to think of any more. Instead I will adopt an opportunistic approach to the great evaluation, and just eat any pie that I come across. This means that they are not strictly speaking head to head rounds, but rather an arbitrary comparison. So for this episode I will judge four pies eaten over the last week. With so many to discuss, there is no time for amusing introductory anecdotes, and I will press on with the comparison. The four contenders are: Tesco Iced Top Mince Pie, Greggs Mince Pie, Tesco Finest Deep Filled, and my very own special 6 Dudley Mews homemade pies.

 

The iced pies were a gift from a generous friend and fan of the evaluation. They were introduced to me as “something you won’t like”, so had not got off to a flying start in terms of anticipation. And to be honest I hadn’t really ever been tempted to buy iced top mince pies myself. The combination of fondant icing and the (already sickly sweet) mincemeat filling seems to me a too diabetogenic idea. This prejudice was soon confirmed on sinking my teeth into the soft and sticky snack. Strangely though, the ultra-sweet assault on my taste buds was not altogether unpleasant. In fact it was slightly nice. The ratio of ingredients was almost half and half ice to mince, which was possibly too great an icing hit. A definite one at a time only pie. It also looks like a cherry Bakewell missing its cherry. Overall I am not convinced.

I dared not heat this in the oven lest I created a sticky mess

Greggs was a tip-off from another friend and mince pie devotee who had sampled them in a meeting at work. I ate mine in Subway for pudding. A large poster in the window of Greggs proclaimed that these mince pies were “award winning”. I dared not enquire after the nature of said award inside, for fear of falling into a long and pointless argument with a member of staff, which might lead to me questioning my sanity as well as the dubious nature of claims made by high street bakeries. So I tucked in to decide myself whether it was indeed worthy of winning an award. It was a very sweet pie, both pastry and filling being amply seasoned with sucrose. This was at first delicious, but soon became I bit overpowering, much as the iced top pie had. Greggs had my favoured thin format, and an attractive dusting of (you guessed it) icing sugar on top.

Reminds me of those flying saucer sweets

Both the final two pies were eaten after a sumptuous xmas dinner at my friends’ house. This was also after several glasses of wine and port, so my recollections of what they actually tasted like are slim. The Tesco Finest pie was another boozy number. It seems a theme of mince pies that the more ‘upmarket’ they attempt to be, the greater the brandy content. This particular one boosted on the box of containing Courvoisier Cognac. I can’t tell this apart from any other combination of spirit and mincemeat that I have tried so far. The pastry was good, crisp and firm, and had not gone soggy on heating. The decoration on top was rather minimal compared to other pies – it looked like it had been stabbed with a fork. I presume that they were trying to look elegant or refined, but I prefer a holly leaf or star myself. As a further addition to the pie tasting experience, I had whipped cream (into which I had added a splash of spiced rum for some reason) on the side. Delicious.

Note the healthy golden brown coloured pastry

And so on to the undoubted star of the show – 6 Dudley Mews special. Baked by mine own fair hands, with expert assistance (and mockery) from my new glamorous sidekick. The problem we had was that there was only two and a half hours in which to make mincemeat that required a 12-hour rest before a three-hour cook. This I solved by putting the mixture in the oven at twice the temperature it needed to expedite the process. Thus I also succeeded in caramelising/burning the mincemeat. There wasn’t enough time to let the pastry sit either, so it didn’t roll out well. Despite these minor problems we turned out a good batch and fed them to our kind hosts. Again we tasted with a whipped cream and rum accompaniment. Unfortunately they were not an unfettered culinary triumph. The filling deliciously fruity, when you avoided the lumps of hard black bitter toffee that the sugar had become. The pastry held together well and was a good texture. But it was too crumbly and also rather tasteless. Overall more sugar would have helped, especially of the non-burnt variety. I distributed the remainder at work where they were not particularly well received. Top marks for the star decoration on top though.

I really do recommend eating mince pies with whipped cream (rum optional)

So on to the judging! A quartet of fine festive fare, but only one can be crowned as winner of this round (or should that be given an award?). From one extreme of sweetness in the iced pie through to almost savoury in mine, there were a whole host of flavours (predominately sweet) to tempt me this week. I could be particularly narcissistic and plump for the 6 Dudley Mews creation, but having already said that quite frankly they weren’t very good this would be too blatantly a lie. The thing is none of the other three were brilliant either. But the best of a bad bunch still takes honours in this evaluation, and here it is Tesco Finest, mainly because I had the best time eating it. 

Let them eat pie

Isn’t it simply beastly out there at the moment? I have not been out without long johns and two jumpers on for weeks! But the longer that the freeze grinds on, the more determined I am to sample all the mince pies I can. The climate cannot cancel this competition. Mince pie evaluation is one fixture that will stay resolutely on the calendar and no quantity of snow or students can stop it. These delectable pastry-based treats are a seasonal luxury, and I am willing to tramp through blizzards and across barricades to source the finest varieties.

Which takes me to the theme of this instalment: posh nosh, or privileged pies. This is because we were honoured at work to receive almond mince pies from Fortnum and Mason. They were brought in by a most generous biochemist in order to take part in the great evaluation. I am definitely in favour of pie at work. To this end I popped down to M&S the very next day for a box of their Truly indulgent all butter mince pies, which was the second contender for the upmarket crown.

Gold is the colour of choice for classy pie packaging

I really enjoyed carrying out this round of the evaluation at work (obviously during designated tea breaks, and not to the detriment of patient care) because it allowed for a full and frank discussion between the biochemists as to the relative merits of the pies on offer. I recommend mince pies as a suitable mid-morning snack for working people. The major drawback of this new approach was that there is no oven here. So the pies were eaten not at optimum temperature. In the spirit of a fair test the same conditions were given to each pie – cold, with a cup of tea, and at my desk.

Having been won over by an almond topped tart the other day; I had high hopes for F&M’s offering. I should point out that they do produce a range of different mince pies – including a chocolate one I am told! This particular concoction was billed as having a “crunchy almond lid” and “cognac batter”. The former was very much the case, and it was rather tasty too. But my attempt to extricate the pie from its tin ended in a crumby disaster. The lid proved just too crunchy for the rest of the pie and came off entirely. This lead me to try pushing the remainder out from underneath, and ended with me rather unceremoniously clawing scraps out of the container. It was an inelegant spectacle that did not befit the pretensions of the F&M label. Perhaps a knife and fork would have been appropriate (or even a butler to serve it). Traditionalists will be disappointed by this pie as it tastes very much of almonds, and the “cognac batter” is not like shortcrust pastry. The filling had a delightful hint of spice about it, but its consistency was more exciting. It was a 'minced-mincemeat'. The sultanas and raisins had been chopped into small pieces to give it a smoother texture. I am not of the opinion that this is really necessary, given the ease with which I can chomp through whole dried fruit, but it certainly added to the novelty of the pie.

Already falling apart

The M&S pie was the forth one I have tried from this particular grocers and all round middle class stalwart of a shop. It is also the top of the range, and perhaps best able to put up a fight against the Queen’s own pie. My first impression was brandy. It smelt of it, tasted of it, and almost exuded alcohol into the surroundings. It had a rounded bottom that I found rather attractive. Despite the wetness of the filling, this bottom was tough enough to remain unsoggy: a mark of fine pastry. It tasted buttery too. Rather unappetisingly there were small pieces of congealed fat on the top of the mincemeat inside. I can only presume that a thorough heating would allow this to melt and baste the filling.

Attractive glazed finish on top

It was quite tricky to pick a winner of this competition, and not just because I ate the pies on separate days. They both were really nice. My overall impression of F&M was truly delicious, but highly impractical. The M&S mainly tasted of booze. The winner is therefore F&M. Not just by Royal appointment, but now also winner of a heat of the great mince pie evaluation.

Enjoying the upper crust

Kaffee und Kuchen

December is upon us so it’s time to step up the evaluation. There is such a cornucopia of different mincemeat-in-pastry combinations available, and we need to get to the bottom of which particular one is the tastiest. I have thus far surveyed a selection picked by no more sensible design that just whatever I can get my hands on easily. So as we hit the run up to xmas itself, I have chosen to go for a themed round of the evaluation: big chain coffee shop mince pies.

I say chosen, but in reality this was not premeditated. There happen to be both a Costa and Starbuck’s coffee shop in the arcade next to Belsize Park station. Bingo. In the former I purchased a mince tart (£1.50), and in the latter I snapped up their last all butter luxury mince pie (£1.45). Faced with a somewhat arduous and cramped commute on the London Underground, the packaging for these pies was crucial. Costa jumped into an early lead with a superior paper bag that had a flat base and was tall enough to be folded over without cramping the pie within. In contrast Starbuck’s was a miserly small affair (admittedly with snowflake pictures on to capture the current mood of the country), and offered such scant protection that I opted to place it in inside the voluminous Costa bag.

Both pies made it safely home without any pastry disintegration

Today’s pies were washed down with a cup of tea as a post work snack. Perhaps because they are designed to be sold individually, both pies were rather larger than I am accustomed to and have probably spoilt my dinner. This would not really be a problem if you just eat one, so I shan’t deduct any marks.

They both look rather festive

The first pie past my lips was Costa. Or should I say “tart on my tongue” (hmmmmmm probably not) – because this mincemeat creation is the first that I have tried not explicitly billed as a pie. A quick glance at the photo will confirm the tart format, with a shallow pastry case and lack of complete roof. Naturally I was excited by this gimmick, and also appreciated its attractive presentation with xmas tree pastry cut-out. Costa was tart by name, and tart by nature. The filling had a bit of a tang to it, and lovely big juicy sultanas. The most exotic aspect though was the chopped almonds on top. Nuts in a mince pie/tart? I give it the thumbs up.

My first impression of Starbuck’s was that it was too big. Or at least too big for the second mince pie in the sitting. This was a classic example of the ‘deep-fill’ genre of pie. I detected an interesting flavour in the depths of the filling, possibly cinnamon. This was quite tasty, but as quirky additions to a standard recipe go, it couldn’t compete with almonds. Presentation-wise I liked the dusting with icing sugar.

In the final analysis, I was moderately impressed with the contenders for the coffee shop crown (apologies to Nero fans – I didn’t walk past one today). Both had rather nothingy pastry and had opted to try to impress with the filling. And in this arena it was the Costa that came out on top.